Identity Displacement in the Family

Identity Displacement in the Family
Should children be expected to be breadwinners in the family?
by Omar Cruz

At a young age, I was exposed to the realities of life – that some were born less fortunate than others. I saw little kids at the streets fending off for themselves and for their families. They were selling various items to the passing motorists hoping to make a sale enough for their daily needs. I remember my dad kept saying to us that we need to study hard so as to be successful in our lives, and eventually for us to be able to provide enough for our family when the time comes. He warned us that if we didn’t study or made sacrifices for our exams and all, we might end up like those on the streets. And he said it with a commanding fatherly voice to believe him. He said that we don’t want to see our family suffer later on. Those words made such an impact in my life that probably kept me from really ruining my life, even when I was at my rebellious point of my life.

Now, that I am old enough to have my own family, I am thankful for my dad’s wisdom. I never really understood it back then but now, it makes sense. The decisions I made in my life basically revolved with that fear of not being able to provide because I didn’t do well or at least enough. It was never really a pressure from my family that I felt I have to do this and do that. I didn’t really feel I was being ordered to by my parents. No. The pressure came from within. But at the time, I was like, “what are you trying to say dad? And why are you being too hard on us?” But as I look back at it, I guess my dad was being himself to us. He meant well, he just delivered it differently.

But the real question is, should parents expect their kids to help out in supporting the family? As a true blooded Philippine born Filipino that I am, I think it’s alright. Our ties with family members go beyond anything else. There’s an old saying that says “Blood is thicker than water”. Filipinos have that strong family ties. You can still see a 40 year old man living with his parents! And sometimes parents tolerate their kids on living sinful lives because they’re their children! Yes, it is being taken out of context most of the time. However, my dad was very clear that he won’t lift a finger if we become a disgrace and would let the axe of justice fall to where it would hit. He was clear about the law. Anyway, that’s a totally different topic.

Going back, I believe that it is OK to expect your children to help out and contribute in the family. As a son, I believe that helping out in the family is one of the greatest things you can do to somehow appreciate all the things my parents did not just for me, but to the whole family. It’s a way of showing gratitude that they brought me up well and provided me with all the things I need. I know that I can never ever repay them in full, never. But helping out is a way to show respect and honor to my parents whom God chose for me to have.

But what is a breadwinner really? According to the dictionary, it’s a person who earns a livelihood for the family or dependents. Having established that context, should children be expected to earn livelihood for the family? I believe the answer is no. It’s like taking away your children’s dreams for themselves. It’s like robbing them of their own life. It would be unfair to expect your kid to be the provider for the whole family.

However, sometimes circumstances dictate the roles one has to play. There’s the single mom. There’s the single dad. There’s the “parent” sister or brother in a family. For some reason, that’s just life and we have to deal with it. I am aware that, for sure, there are children out there who are being forced to take on the role of being the breadwinner of the family. It must be tough to support for a family when at the back of your mind, you can use the money for your own personal interests.

So what about those who volunteer to help out, you might ask? There are cases wherein circumstances are forcing every member of the family to work in order to make ends meet. In that case, everyone must become breadwinners. But what does the bible says about being a so called “breadwinner”? Paul wrote an interesting letter to Timothy (1 Timothy 6:6-20). As I reflect on Paul’s letter with being a breadwinner, is about being a breadwinner in the eyes of God. In line with that, one of my favorite passages in the bible says it in MT 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”. Everything sums up to that. Because when you follow God, everything just falls into their proper places. Amazing!

Originally written back in 2010.


Polytron Technologies’ Smart Privacy Glass

Polytron Technologies, Inc. is a leading electronic and optical vision glass/film supplier worldwide. Polytron supplies many creative and unique electronic and optical vision glass/film products to designers, high-end home/office decorating companies, and furniture manufacturers…etc. We are dedicated to supplying our designing/manufacturing clients brand-new and unique product materials that will exceed their expectations. Our product lines are quite versatile, thus compatible with all sorts of design concepts. Polytron is a specialty, architectural glass company, supplying high quality PolyvisionTM Privacy Glass (switchable glass, PolyvisionTM Film), POLYMAGICTM LED Glass (LED glass, LED film), PolyholoTM Glass (holographic glass, PolyholoTM film), PolyflushTM Glass (PolyflushTM Film), PolyGlowTM Glass (PolyGlowTM Film) PolyscreenTM Glass (PolyscreenTM films), PolydigitTM display Glass (dot to dot LED technology) and PolytouchTM (optical multi touch screen). Located in Taiwan, Polytron Technologies, Inc. is committed to offering the best products at competitive prices to all customers in the international community. Polytron Technologies, Inc. is a subsidiary of Polytronix, Inc., an American company that provides the patent product PolyvisionTM Privacy Film to the Taiwan operation and Polytron also has a branch company- Polytron Technologies (Xiamen) Co,.LTD locate in China Xiamen to service China customers. This combination of companies is ready to meet customer needs for new choices of architectural and decorative materials for the world marketplace. Our skilled research and design teams utilize the highest quality raw materials to provide our customers with new application perspectives to compliment their particular skills and creations. Polytron Technologies, Inc. is focused on keeping our technology in the forefront and our quality at the highest level, designing new products and creating new forms of material in order to deliver the best products to our clients.

Polytron is one the business I’m working on. The setup is a Sales and Marketing business here in the Philippines for Polytron Technologies Inc. in Taiwan. I can say that finding clients is quite hard with this niche products as most developers are not yet into this type of glass technology and would rather get blinds for the price. I hope there would be some big break before the year ends.  If you’re interested you can reach us at this email addy:

Thank you!

On Making My Passion Count.

Raining. Back aching. 3 hour sleep. Still working. It’s been a few months since I resigned from my corporate job and focus on what I believed I needed to do. It’s been months since I received a salary and now, my savings are gone. Wiped out. Hey, I need to feed my family and pay the bills. It’s not easy when you go to that point where there’s nothing left. And the business you’re trying to put up is still far from where you envisioned it to be.

A lot of things happened and a lot of delays. But I can say that it’s all worth it.

Without my parents and my sister’s financial backing, I would have been dead by now. Seriously. I really appreciate them to bits. I am thanking the Lord for them and for this wonderful time of humbling. There are so much learning and application that this phase gave me the opportunity to experience. I can’t wait for what’s next.

I appreciate also my wife who was very patient with me and with all the shortcomings that I had. I’m still blessed. I appreciate how she does the thinking for me when I’m totally helpless already. Yeah, there are quite a lot of instances when I was really out of gas. She was the one who provided the extension. Thank you.

So, this application, service, product that I’m working on is somewhat the totality of the journey I have so far. It’s really tough to find people to join your team. Tougher when it’s going to be with little salary. It’s also tough to find investors who’d trust you enough to put money in your cause. It’s also tougher when you see competitors popping up here and there. I remind myself, I don’t have control over them. What I do have control is myself – the things I will do; the things I will decide on; the things I will invest my time and (little) money on. And that’s where I should focus on. The rest, I live it up to the Lord in prayer.

to a higher perspective

Success for me is not accumulation of money. Success for me is the everyday step towards your goal. It’s that progress on the daily basis. It’s that journey from one point to another. Money is just a by-product. More importantly, success is reaching your God-given purpose. Using your given abilities and sharpening your skills for that. All for the glory of God.

This season of pruning, hardship, and pain taught me a lot about faith. The hardships brought what I’m really made of and how lacking I am without Him. So, in every step of the way, I know this is with Him. And that, I know I am safe. I am secured.